Date Night- We are Both Adventurers
“Life is adventuresome if you let it be.”
We are both adventurers. While the concept manifests itself a little differently in each of us, the core of that idea is deeply imbedded in us both. I love to explore, to experience the unknown, to taste new foods and experience new cultures. In essence — this world and its people are unceasingly intriguing to me. Garrett loves to stand on cliff edges, to explore remote wildernesses, is willing to give his life to protect others, and he took the calculated risk to ask a girl from across the country who he loved to marry him not knowing if she would say “yes” or “no”. He generally lives by the motto: “Life is adventuresome if you let it be.”
Ours was not a whirlwind romance. Nor did he sweep me off my feet. My husband is not Prince Charming, he’s an engineer. And I think for us, that was exactly how it was supposed to be.
At the end of 2009, I moved back to Portland, OR, after a brief time living in Brisbane, Australia. I had lived in Portland since I was seven years old, with the exception of my college years spent in Sand Diego, CA. I moved back to the Pacific Northwest thinking it was very temporary. I had more adventures to live, I told myself.
But as I settled in, I started to get to know the city in a whole new way. I made incredible friends that I hope to have for life. I began to feel settled and rooted. I was “home” in a way I had never been before. I started to dig my heels in a little, and two years in, I was NOT ever leaving Portland. If I did, it would only be for a crazy, daring, adventure.
And then I met Garrett.
“He was a rare find. But he lived in Cincinnati.”
It was a set-up, which we were both adamantly against. It was long-distance, which sounded like an automatic “no” to us both. But we were intrigued. We found ourselves connecting. We became best friends. His relentless pursuit to get to know the real me was refreshing, healing and loving. He was a rare find. But he lived in Cincinnati.
We got married on an absolutely gorgeous Portland day in late September last year. It was a beautiful celebration and sendoff. A sendoff into our new life together, and a literal sendoff — I spent the second to last night of our otherwise glorious honeymoon bawling in our Costa Rican villa because the reality of not getting to return home to Portland was catching up to me.
We now live in Cincinnati and I miss beautiful, delicious, rainy Portland. Every. Single. Day.
Relocating to another portion of suburban America did not satisfy my requirements of a suitable reason to leave Portland. I had big dreams. Big adventure plans. But here we are.
So, as we navigate how to live with each other and love each other, as we intentionally work at our marriage to strengthen it, we decided to make a regular date night a priority. We have been sticking to the plan, however, after a few months we felt like we were getting a little lazy with our date night ideas. “Eh, I don’t know what we should do this time; let’s just count last night when we when we went out with so-and-so as our date night.”
I began to think and imagine how much better it would be if we were somewhere else. If we were living some crazy, exciting, adventure.
“Why not make a point of recognizing us as an adventure in itself?”
Then it hit me. Why not focus on the everyday little adventures right in front of us? Why not get creative in the ways we explore where we are? Our relationship is already an adventure. He is quirky; I’m a bit spazzy. We are so similar, yet so different. Almost from different worlds at times. Why not make a point of recognizing us as an adventure in itself? And why not bring you all along in the hope of learning from each other? Perhaps we all can share our ideas and live adventurously in our seemingly “normal” lives?! Because, while we would rather be out gallivanting around the world, we feel strongly that we are meant to be here for now. And we are determined to learn and grow and love no matter where we are.
Will you come on this little journey with us? Will you share date night ideas for Garrett and I to try out? Then maybe try out some of the ideas others have shared with us? We would love to have you along.
Each month we’ll be featuring one of our weekly date nights, so give us some ideas in the comments and we’ll get exploring!
Stay tuned for next week for our first date night adventure for you… it involves this slightly beat-up truck of his I love so much!!
Read a novel together out loud over a glass of wine/beer/iced tea. Out somewhere. (Could be a bad one to laugh at together, or a classic neither has read).
Oh I like that! It could even be a multipart to-be-continued type date...!
Dearest Heather. I love you and appreciate you. Your sincerity. Your heart for adventure. And of course, your story; God's story in bringing you and Garrett together! And your desire to be committed to one another (regardless of where you live) with intention!! We spent our first year of marriage living in Kenya. We also wanted to be intentional about our marriage from the start and having set-aside time for us (date night) was part of that. There's not a ton to do in rural Kenya. We literally had 2 restaurants (as we in America know restaurants) in our town. We had to be creative. Sometimes we were, but often we weren't because the idea of just staying home and watching a movie sounded lovely! 😃 But there was one Friday evening. While I was laying down resting after a long hot day, Joe prepared crackers and cheese and put wine in a Nalgene. He had it all hidden by the time I was up and he said he wanted to go for a drive. We ended up on top of the hill which overlooks the lake to watch the sunset and enjoy our wine and cheese. We had the most beautiful picture perfect sunsets in our town! It ended up raining not long after we arrived so we ended up in the car trying to see the sun set through the rain on the windshield. 😳 But...it was more about the effort he put into thinking of the idea than it was about how it all played out. And most of all, it's always about perspective and seeing everything as a adventure together!!
One thing we found with planning date nights is that it was best for us to both take turns. We both want to romance each other and organize something a little special for the other one. We tried rotating days; his week, my week, his week,etc. We chose a set day for each week. Those didn't work great for us. We've landed on having 2-3 basic date nights a month and one extra-special date a month. It's less legalistic which feels more natural and more genuine for us. The basic date nights are something simple yet different. The special dates are reserved for perhaps a concert or a theatre event or a day trip somewhere. We also have strict budgets for date nights. We don't want our special nights or days together to become about fancy, expensive things. The whole purpose is to have set aside time (untouchable by life's other events) for us to be a bit more intentional about our love for one another. And that's something that no 5-course meal can buy!!!
Looking forward to your ideas and learning together!!!! 😃
Thank you so much Daneen! Such good advice from you, thank you for sharing with us! We're definitely still figuring out what works best for us, so its encouraging hearing how you guys have navigated parts of the process. And I love your sunset picnic story... I think you are really going to like our post next week ;)
i enjoy your writing so much!
Thank you so much, Lori!